Unapologetically You.

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I don’t understand why in 2019 we are still having to talk about cyber bullying, hate, judgement and ridicule. I’m not one to EVER comment hateful or nasty things on people’s social media accounts, or do that in real life for a matter of fact, and I really cannot fathom nor understand why people are still doing this. Is it hate? Is it jealousy? Or is it just the fact that people now a days are so busy critiquing other people’s successes that they do not have time to better their own? Since when did it become okay to put down others. Since when did it become okay to criticise, punish and be spiteful of what others choose to do with their lives. And since when did it become okay to be an asshole!! (FYI, it’s not okay).

 
I sat down the other night and watched the ARIA’s. I was in awe of the beauty, the happiness and the talent that singers and songwriters were producing right in front of my eyes. However, one particular moment that has stuck with me since then is Tones and I, who is an incredible female Aussie artist smashing life. She got up on the stage after winning an award. Her hat was covering her eyes, she looked down, seeming incredibly nervous and gave her speech. Within this speech she talked about what it is to be a female, what is takes to be brave and how important it is to just be you. This amazing woman is sending such a good message; to both males and females and those who chose to be neither and it’s about time we start listening. I’m positive that even though she is currently the world’s best female artist, there would be people out there hating her, hating her music and well and truly letting it be known. I know it would hurt and I know that she would probably want to throw in the towel but she hasn’t. She has chosen to stand up to the hate, stand up to the judgement and be herself. We need to take a page out of Tones and I’s book. It’s time to stick your middle finger in the air and say “This is me and I will not apologise!”.

 
I’m not here to preach about anyone’s behaviour or words in particular nor am I here to tell anybody how to live (just wanna say though, don’t be an asshole, it’s simple). I’m here to tell you that its okay to be yourself. In every true form. Despite what ANYONE says or thinks. Want to paint? Great. Want to change the climate? Fantastic. Want to wear mismatched shoes to the supermarket? Go right ahead! Do the things you want to do now. Do them with pride, with courage and do them with everything you have. Who cares if Sally from down the road has something to say about it. People will always try to bring you down. That only means that you are above them.

 
I haven’t always had this kind of mindset. I used to be afraid of showing my true self in fear of judgement. And let me tell you, now that I look back on it, I think ‘My gosh Franc, you big dumb dickhead. You spent years trying to please others when you should have been pleasing yourself’. And it’s so true. I have grown up and realised that I am the only one that can make me happy. I am me and that’s bloody amazing! And yes, I will wear odd shoes to the supermarket if I feel like it. Heck, there’s probably someone sitting there reading this right now thinking “Oh my God will this woman just shut up” buutttt I couldn’t give two fucks. I enjoy writing and if you don’t enjoy reading it… then don’t? #toocooltocare

 

Anyway…
I really do believe that if there was less criticism, there would be more happiness. Let’s live in harmony. Let other people be themselves. Is what they are doing effecting you? Probably not. And even if it is affecting you, do you need to tell them? Also probably not. I’m not saying that no one is entitled to an opinion. I’m saying there’s a time to be loud and a time to be quiet. And we need to be mindful of when and how we use these choices.

 
People always say “You only live once” but it’s not true. We only die once. We LIVE every day. Do what makes you happy. And fuck the haters. Be unapologetically you.

To My Fifteen Year Old Self.

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If you could sit down and have a conversation or write a letter to your teenage self what would you say? What would you put down pen to paper to tell yourself? Would you leave out the advice so that you go through what you did and come out the other side exactly the way you are and exactly how you lived through your teenage and early twenties? Or would you tell yourself to wake the fuck up and change the way you lived and spoke to ensure that your life played out differently?
Well me, I would probably do both. I would tell myself that some things I go on to do are amazing and the other things, well just aren’t so amazing.

So, to my fifteen-year-old self..

Try to learn to love the skin you are in right now. Learn to love your flaws, your freckles, your overlapped toes and your body. The body you have right now is literally a temple. Stop smoking in the school car park and eat your god damn lunch. There is nothing healthy about starving yourself all day from breakfast until dinner time. Not eating will only cause headaches, hungriness and angriness (or what we call these days being ‘hangry’). It may make you skinny for a couple of months but in the long run its dangerous and unhealthy. You will eventually learn to love every piece of you and you will also learn that people who really love you think you are beautiful exactly the way you are. They will love the way your ears might stick out a little bit and they will love your bloody overlapped toes, trust me.

Those kids you call your friends now? They will actually not give two shits about you in about five years. They won’t give a fuck where you are or what you are doing. They will most likely turn into ‘friends’ only via social media and stalk the lunch you ate that day but they won’t ever make contact with you because they really couldn’t care less. And you for them. Make some really special close friends that actually love you, care about you and make you a better person. Those friends will still be there when you are twenty and going through your crazy blonde short hair stage. They will be there when your Dad is yelling at you down the phone because it’s passed 10:00pm on a Friday night and you are still out. And they will always be there to make dumb decisions with you because they too are most likely going through the same old shit you are. Hold in there together, you’ll still be the best of friends when you turn twenty-seven.

You know that boy you like and think the sun shines out his arse? Well guess what.. it doesn’t. He is a teenage boy. He literally just wants to kiss you at some dumb party (that you probably aren’t allowed to go to anyway, HA!) and then he will stop texting you and move on to the next girl. You will have your heart broken, like a hundred times but don’t you ever, and I repeat, EVER think you are not good enough. Because you are. You are enough and always will be. Learn that when someone disrespects you to speak up. Tell them they are being a piece of shit and that you deserve to be spoken to like a human. If you feel threatened or in danger or just simply not happy, tell someone. I beg you. Tell your friends, your Mum, a person you trust, just tell someone. Because those people who disrespect you in any sort of relationship or friendship now, still will when you are older. Right now, you are an innocent teenager and think it’s okay but it’s not. People like that are as weak as piss and deserve to be put in their place. Don’t reward their negative behaviour. Be brave. You will eventually find a man that loves every little thing about you, who will always answer your texts and who will hold your hand in public. He won’t be ashamed or embarrassed of the dumb shit you did in the past and he will be proud to have you. If you don’t have someone like this, keep looking. There is a man out there who will want to show you off and don’t you dare settle for anything less!

Listen to and love the shit out of your Mother. When you are a raging hormonal teenager you will probably tell her you hate her and think that she is some devil spawned witch who is deliberately trying to ruin your life. She’s not. She is and always will be on your team, your biggest fan and cheerleader. All she is trying to do is lead you on the right path, she is trying to protect you from stuff that she probably went through as a teenager and simply just wants the best for you. Trust me when I say when you get older you will worship the ground that woman walks on and you will call her. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes you will even just call to hear her voice because you miss her so god damn much. Don’t take her for granted.

And the last thing is; have fun. Have so much bloody fun!! Laugh until your sides are sore. Do dumb shit with your girlfriends and make memories. Be kind to everyone. Even the kid in science who sits at the front of the class with the terrible haircut (maybe they too are going through their crazy hair stage), and all they need is for someone to smile and say hello to them. Accept others for who they are and respect them. Treat people how you want to be treated and don’t be a shit person. Do some god damn study, even if you hate it and if school isn’t for you then find something you love and pursue that. There’s a chance what you are doing now won’t be the career you are pursuing at thirty. Enjoy your teenage years because before you know it, you’ll be elbow deep into the work force, paying off a credit card debt and eating dessert for breakfast because you can actually do those things when you become an adult.

To my fifteen-year-old self, I am so god damn proud of the woman you become. And although I would most likely go back and change some of the shit you did as a brainless teenager, I can’t. You live and you learn and you grow. And my goodness don’t you grow into a badass Queen.

Self Love

Travelling has definitely taught me a number of things; how to get out of my comfort zone, budgeting, how to live life with an awesome attitude and all those beautiful things. However, I feel that the most important thing I’ve learnt from travelling is finding and figuring out who I truly am and what I truly want to do in life. I’ve cried, laughed, thought what the f*$! am I doing and wanted to give up. I’ve made friends, lost some and found love again. Not only with someone who is amazing in every single aspect, but with myself. Self love.

I’ve finally come to terms with life and that sometimes it isn’t perfect. Sometimes we f%!* up and that’s okay. Sometimes we get lost but if we have hope, we find ourselves again. I’ve figured out that sometimes the way someone else wants your life to go isn’t always the right plan and that following your gut is best. I’ve learnt that upsetting someone for an hour is worth a lifetime full of happiness, for both them and you. I’m exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to, with the exact man that was meant for me.

Before I left Tasmania for 6 weeks to travel home and go on my contiki adventure (which was incredibly amazing! Two weeks in the Northern Territory and a week in Perth!), I still wasn’t sure where I belonged. I went on this trip with an open mind, still with this particular person in my thoughts every single day, yet still very unsure. I planned this trip for me; to find my place in this world, to gain a little self confidence and to simply just fall in love with myself again.

Contiki taught me that adventures are good for the soul, that seeing new places is heart warming and that meeting new people along the road is an absolute blessing. It taught me that being alone helps you figure out where you are destined to be and where you truly feel ‘at home’. Six weeks spent with a combination of family, complete strangers and with myself concluded that I well and truly want to be in Tasmania, with him. He is my home.

I feel so god damn bloody happy. I’ve begun to do things I love again; sketching, writing, cooking and dancing in the kitchen while enjoying a nice bevvy. I smile. All. The. Time! I sing, whistle, laugh until my cheeks are sore and I’ve ran out of breath. I love life, I love where I am and what I’m doing and I sure as hell love the woman I have become!

We all get lost sometimes and that’s okay. It’s a part of life and self growth. What we have to remember is that there is always a light at the end of tunnel, you just have to believe in it. Believe in love, believe in life and believe in magic. Always believe in magic🌟🌟

Find your tribe, love them hard.

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I grew up with three brothers on a farm and needless to say I was a bit of a tomboy. I rode quads, slid in mud and was the main one to start our badly painted paddock basher. With this lifestyle came rough conversation, rude language and not having to deal with girl drama. All throughout my life I have always clicked better with males. I’d much rather have a beer and watch the footy (Thanks to my amazing friend Jacob for all the newly learnt AFL info haha go cats!) or head to the pub. I’m not really one to start rumours or go looking for gossip. I am in no way saying this is a bad thing, I’m just saying it’s not me.

I have a close-knit group of girl friends who have been there since day dot. My best friend of 22 years, Claire has always had my back and has never left my side. In all honesty, I really don’t know what I would do without her. Then I have my work friends who some, have become very close gal pals. These beautiful women are a little bit older and a little bit wiser but none the less love a coldie, a chat and always have my best interest at heart.

I also have the ladies who have become friends through me teaching their beautiful children. One in particular is my amazing friend Marlena (love you chick!) who became my person to talk to in the office about what was happening in life, who became my crying partner and the one who seemed to understand exactly what I was going through. All of these women, although it may not be many, have influenced me and play a very special role in my life.

Along with these powerful women in my tribe, I also have some amazing men in my life. My three brothers were my first besties (although we did dislike each other there for a while!) and all of the friends I have met along the way. The ones who check in just to see how I’m doing, to ask whether I’m happy and tell me how happy and proud of me they are. Being friends with blokes in Griffith was always ridiculously hard as people assume they are more than friends and love to get the rumour mill going. However, I’ve learnt to ignore it, why should I let the shallow minds of others influence my friendships?

With travelling comes meeting more people and I am so excited to have added more darling heads to my circle, my Tassie Tribe! What bloody ripper people. They have welcomed me in with arms wide open and I feel so blessed. I have made friends with both sexes and have also learnt that Tassie girls love a beer just as much as the boys! (Totally up my alley!). I was super nervous about trying to make friends in a new town but it has honestly been the best experience of my life! It has not only broadened my friendship circle, but has boosted my confidence, gotten me out of my comfort zone and has made me so bloody happy!

What I have noticed as I am getting older is that friends come and go. There are people you meet at school, at work, at social events or sport (Ha! Who even plays sport?!). Some of these people stay and some of them also leave. You lose some, you gain some, it’s just how the universe works. However, it is through these gains and loses I have also come to learn that the people who actually want to be a part of my life will always make an effort, as I do for them.

My circle may not be huge but I am happy within it. It is full of people I love, whom I admire and people who I want to inspire. Our lives may be different and we may be in different states or even countries but one thing will never change, and that is our friendship.

I seem to be able to pick up right where we left off with all of the people in my circle and what a blessing that is. Effort is important, a simple text telling your mates you are thinking about them is all some people need. Those who don’t put in the same effort as you, don’t deserve your time.

In life we are all going to lose friends but what we need to remember is to not lose ourselves. Just because they walk out of your life and give up on you, you should never give up on or lose yourself in the process. Yes it hurts, yes it feels like you lose a piece of yourself but it will always be filled with fresh new faces. Learn to embrace it, to trust what the universe is doing and to be grateful that others have been part of your life. Our friends and family make up part of who we are and the person we become. They come into our lives for a purpose, to guide us onto the road we are supposed to be travelling. Some are there for a short time, others are there for a lifetime. Some even leave without a trace or an explanation. It’s not your fault, it’s just fate. Always honour the time you had together and acknowledge that both of your souls have learnt lessons and have served each other’s growth. Maybe one day the people who have left will wonder what we are doing and how we are.

Find the people who belong in your tribe and love them so god damn hard. Empower them, give them your support and always join in their happiness. Push them up and never bring them down. Give your friends the time and energy you want to receive back and always remember.. growth in life doesn’t lose you friends; it shows you who your true friends are.

Forgive and Forget.

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A couple of days ago I received a beautiful handwritten letter from my gorgeous Nan, Kay. She had told me about sending it and I was extremely excited to be receiving mail the old school way! (I really think we need to start doing this more instead of relying on technology). However, when I got the letter out of my mailbox and began to read, I really don’t think I was prepared for what was written.

Nan asked a favour of me. She wanted me to write on my “blob”, (it’s a blog Nan you big cutie!) these specific words..
“All the lies in the world can’t change the truth… I have great pleasure in knowing this and can hold my head up high and nobody can take that away from me”.

I was lost for words. Me, the woman who loves writing and could talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles was stunned. Not because of what Nan had written but because she was bloody right! Lies cannot change the truth, even if we want them to. I read these words over and over.. walked away, thought about it and came back to read her letter one last time. Through this reflection I have decided that it is time to wipe my hands clean. I can’t change the past, or what happened but I can certainly move forward onto bigger and brighter things. It’s time to let go.. of what’s happened, of the shitty people and the heartbreak.

Nan also told me to brush aside the negative things in life and to concentrate on all the good that happens from day-to-day. She told me to enjoy the sunrise, the rain and the beauty of the day and to take delight in the things I do and the people I meet (Maybe you need to start writing ‘blobs’ Nan, haha!!). So, I am going to make it my goal to enjoy every piece of my life, to be grateful for the little things and to be truly thankful that I get to wake up every day and live.

Reading Nans letter also made me realise that my family is full of women warriors. We have generations of women who have been hurt in some sort of way, shape or form. However, with this pain comes strength and determination.. and in Nan’s words “a new life”. A new life free from harm, free from negativity and free from suffering. If the women in my family can do it, then so can I. I want to follow in their footsteps and show them I can do it too. I want to stand with them, hold our middle fingers to the sky and let the world (and the shitty people we’ve come across) know that we are fighters. I want to make them so incredibly proud.

We need to remember that we are greatly loved by those around us and those who love us will always make time and effort, even if it is something as simple as sending a letter, a text or meeting up for a coffee. We need to concentrate on the things we love, spend time with people who want to spend time with us and do what makes us happy.

You only get one shot at life, make sure you’re living it to the fullest.

To the man who loves me next.

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Love is an amazing thing. It makes you feel happy, content, warm and at peace. Love is supposed to be kind and patient and all of that other gooey stuff. But what happens when love breaks down, falls apart or breaks you so much that you never ever want to fall in love again?

I have felt all of the above emotions. I was in a beautiful relationship for seven incredible years with the man whom I thought would become the father of my children. We had a home and a future plan. Until, that is, our love broke down.

I have been hurt, broken, emotionally abused, cheated on and made to feel like a failure as a woman. I have been made to feel so unlovable that I often wonder if there is a man out there who is man enough to be willing to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and to slowly but surely glue it all back into place.

We shouldn’t let past relationships affect us as people, or have any influence on our next relationships but unfortunately that’s just life.

So, to the man who loves me next, I just want you to know..
I have trust issues. Everyone does and it takes time to overcome the feeling of uncertainty. I won’t be able to give you my heart straight away but please understand when I do, I will love you with every piece of my soul. Be empathetic.

I need your patience. At times it may feel like I’m pushing you away but please know, it is times like this I need you close. Every woman craves a man’s touch every now and then, so if you see I’m being a sooky bitch this is actually code for; ‘Please bring me nuggets, sour worms and snuggle me until I’m snoring in your ear’.

I need your calmness. I am the most understanding and calm person you will ever meet (apart from my beautiful Mum!) and you need to acknowledge this. I don’t do well with yelling and will simply be non-compliant until you calm your farm and talk to me like a human being. I won’t ever let you stand over me, I’ve been there and done that and have learnt how to be a powerful woman. We will be a team, we will talk and we will sort shit out together.

I need you to be my best friend. There’s nothing I love more than being an absolute goose. I sing at the top of my lungs while driving in the car, I dance like no one is ever watching me, I love having fun and laughing until I have run out of breath and am sitting there slapping my hands together like a seal. I tell dumb jokes and appreciate them in return. I love wittiness and cheekiness and pulling stupid faces until my face hurts. Just make me smile.

And most of all, I need your love. I need you to help me and to support me through everything. Even if it is just simply telling me I look beautiful or have cooked you a delicious meal (or even if it is shit, pretend you love it!). I need your encouragement and need you on my side. There is nothing I want more than to be loved by a person entirely. I also need you to love my family as much as I do, just like I will love yours in return. They are my world and have made me who I am.

I do know this person is out there for me. I haven’t given up hope and I sure as hell won’t let anyone or anything stop me from finding the perfect person for me. It might happen next week or not for another couple of years and that is okay.

You can’t rush love and you can’t fight fate. Please know a broken woman doesn’t stay broken forever. We heal and we realise that there are bigger and better things out there for us. Us warriors have the biggest hearts and the most love to give.. And to the man that loves me next.. I cannot wait to give you mine. ❤

New Plans, New Purpose

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Plans. You see the thing about them, is that they suck. Yes, it’s super fantastic and intelligent to have them and sometimes they always go accordingly. However sometimes, they do not and that is okay too.

I was always a chronic planner (I think I took after my Mum in this department), I made lists and ticked them off and when travelling I always made sure I knew where I was going and what I was doing, to the extent of even printing off maps and writing down the towns I would be driving through. I liked the structure and the knowing of what was coming next. Much like my life. I had an amazing life plan; to find the man of my dreams, get married and have children. When I was younger I often wondered what my wedding would look like and what my babies would look like (I think every young female does!). This plan was running smoothly until one day my life plan took a turn. Now I don’t mean just a little turn, I mean like ‘a cricket bat to the face and knocked me for a sixer’ kind of turn.

I think I have come to realise now that you don’t always have to have a plan. You don’t always need to know what you want in life, or where you want to be or who with. I think society pushes these stereotypes on to us and I’ve decided that it’s bloody bonkers! Why should we have to listen to what other people say or follow the norm just because that’s what everybody else is doing? Why should all of our plans be the same? We were born to follow different paths, do different things and be different human beings. My plan has changed dramatically and to be honest, I am loving every single minute of it. I planned to stay in Tasmania for quite some time and find some work but being in this little town, work is hard to come by. I am in the process of planning my next step but I simply just don’t know what to do. Do I stick it out here and keep on keeping on? Or do I move on with the next step of my travelling phase? It’s hard, because I don’t want to regret leaving. I don’t want to feel like I made the wrong decision by leaving early and not sticking to the original plan of action.

So, my plan is to make no plans and to trust my gut instinct. As much as I need a slight idea of what to do next, right now, I have a weird feeling inside me that I just need to let the universe guide me to where I’m supposed to be. I’m letting fate take the reins. Whatever will be, will be. At the moment I am enjoying exploring the North and West coasts of Tasmania and finding the most amazing waterfalls I have ever seen!! In saying that, I do have a tiny plan of coming back over to the mainland in the next couple of weeks if there is no work available. Unfortunately, this is just what has to happen.

The thing about life and being an adult is that you are capable and able to make your own life decisions. You are in charge of who you are and who you want to be. You are the one that decides your path. Plans work for you or they don’t. They can be big or small or you could have none at all.. and all of this is absolutely okay! It’s never too late to make new plans.

For now, I am trusting my intuition, I am trusting fate and I am trusting my journey.

Everything happens for a reason

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The thing about travelling alone is that you have to be resilient. Resilient enough to do things you want to do, to see things you want to see and to meet people as well. A couple of weekends ago while staying in Wynyard I was catching up with a mate at the local watering hole. Being in a small town (6000 to be precise!) this person knew that person (dear lord am I back in Griffith?!) and before I knew it I was talking to a lovely girl called Sam. We talked about my travels and what I had planned and she was as excited for me as I was myself. After sharing a few beers with Sam, she offered me a room at her place with herself and her partner Lee. I thanked Sam for the offer and after a while we parted ways. I feel as though I was meant to meet Sam, a beautiful soul! Fate perhaps?

As I travelled on down the West Coast I thought continuously about Sam’s offer and how genuine it was. I also thought “I don’t really want to step on anyone’s toes or be a ball breaker” but after much thought and consideration, once again I decided to bite the bullet (I’m getting bloody good at this!) and got in contact with her. Sam was glad to hear from me (thank god!) and we arranged for me to begin staying with them by the next week. I have been staying there now for nearly a week and I couldn’t feel more comfortable. We have shared stories, beers, laughs and they have even been lucky enough to experience my cooking (my lord I was craving some good wog food after eating crap for 3 weeks). So I have found myself a comfy spot to live and now the search for some work begins.

I am counting my lucky stars I think.. how lucky I am to be experiencing beautiful Tasmania. Today I drove a measly trip down the road and sat on the beach. Now I’m not just talking any old beach, I’m talking the most stunning beach I’ve ever seen. The whitest of white sand, bright blue seas and water so clear I could see my terribly painted red toe nails. I looked out into the ocean and smiled. What a spot for some self-reflection. The first thought that crossed my mind was ‘How bloody lucky are you?’ and then the second thought came… ’Think about why you are here’. This thought stopped me in my tracks. I hate thinking about why I am here, it still breaks my heart a million times over. The pain I have felt the past 12 months I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I would be lying if I said I don’t think about it often. About what could have happened and how different my life could have been. But like the saying goes “Everything happens for a reason” and I truly do believe it. Some things in life are meant to work, some aren’t and some things happen to direct you on the path you’re meant to be travelling.

Maybe I was meant to be here, maybe I was meant to suffer heartbreak and loss. Or perhaps I knew I had suffered enough and couldn’t handle anymore. I honestly cried enough tears to fill up that bloody ocean sitting in front of me. I couldn’t count the amount of times I fell into my Mother’s arms or cried myself to sleep. I thought the darkness would never end. However, here I am, a strong, fearless and independent warrior who is doing the things I’ve always had the burning desire to do. Things happen to us to help us grow, learn and to become the person we are meant to be. Sometimes we have to forget what we feel and remember what we deserve. We meet people on these paths to shape us, to help us and to even sometimes make life long friends. We struggle and we strive. Even if what happens is some of the hardest bullshit you’ll ever go through, these moments happen for a reason, it’s fate, and do you know why? Because my dear friends… life is a beautiful struggle.

And so the journey begins..

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Never in a million years did I picture myself where I am right now. Sitting on a deck in Strahan, Tasmania having a local beer and a delicious cup of Mi Goreng noodles looking at the most breathtaking view from my hillside motel room. You see nearly 3 weeks ago I packed my bags (my whole wardrobe to be precise), shoved it all in my car and drove to Melbourne with my Mum to board the Spirit of Tasmania. This trip was a long time coming, one that I had thought about for months and in the end decided to bite the bullet (thank you to my beautiful colleagues Renee and Caron as well as my two best friends Claire and Emma for giving me the push I needed!). Life as I knew it had turned to shit and I needed more. I applied for extended leave, brought a new car and was ready to tackle this new journey.

So there we were, boarding the ship. Needing to calm Mum down I dosed her up with Travacalm and by the time morning hit we had arrived in Devonport. We travelled around together for 5 nights, experienced some beautiful Tasmanian sights and absolutely laughed our heads off. It was a truly magnificent time with her and one I will always cherish. For anyone that knows my beautiful mother knows how much she is stuck in her ways and is as stubborn as a bloody mule! However, there she was, on a ship and about to board two flights home, alone. I have never been more proud of her! Not tooting my own horn here but I think my bravery and F-it attitude was beginning to rub off on her!

The dreaded day came.. where I had to drive Mum to the airport and put her on the plane to Sydney. While we sat there together she gave me the obligated ‘Mum Talk’ about being safe, not talking to strangers and not using Tinder however it got cut short by the tear flow. I began to feel as nervous as shit when her flight was called. I was washed with emotions. I didn’t know whether I was nervous, excited, wanted to cry, scream or vomit. This was it, I was being left alone at the airport in Hobart. I walked out of there with my head held high with the world at my fingertips, got into the car and you know what I did? I cried my eyes out like a little whiny baby. “What the flying F have you done Franc?!” I asked myself, “You are doing the wrong thing!”. After a little mini pep talk to myself, I wiped my face and made my way forward.

The decision to travel on my own wasn’t an easy one to make. It was literally months of planning, talking myself out of it and then back into it again and ensuring I could cope financially. It was sleepless nights, tears, many words spoken and amazing help from people I love. It was also growing some balls and actually doing things for myself for once (much to my families dislike). I don’t think I’ve ever felt as scared as I did the day I told my father I took 12 months off work to travel Australia by myself! It went from calm to quiet to ‘Im pretty sure a bomb just went off’. He eventually came around to the idea (well at least he pretends he has) and put down some strict instructions:

  1. “You are to fax (text) your Mother every day and tell her of your whereabouts”
  2. “Call us on your phone every night using your camera so we can see you” (I think that is called Face Time Dad)
  3. Be careful and remember… two feet in one shoe. (Who ever knows what this even means please let me know)

However, I have spent the last 2 weeks travelling from town to town, meeting locals, seeing amazing historical and natural wonders and well and truly getting out of my comfort zone. I have realised how truly blessed we are to live in this absolutely beautiful country and that we have so many amazing things to see in our own backyard! Now I’m not saying it has been easy being on my own, those of you who know me know I am a social butterfly. At times I do feel lonely but those feelings do not stick around for long because I also feel free, I feel at peace and for the first time in a long time.. I feel so god damn happy.